Here’s the cover for Porcelain — incorporated my rough version into something slicker/better-looking, lol. The brain likes colour — fact!
Porcelain is a novella-length anthology, so I don’t think the production cost of the print copy is going to be too high (a definite plus). It would be impossible for a mainstream traditional big publisher to publish this [novella-length, contains a sizable amount of poems ("poetry doesn't sell," so the chorus goes), uncategorizable (same as my first two projects)]. I’ll probably work on the print file in June. Optimizing the (10 or so) sketches/images I’m including in the book makes me tired already, urgh. It’s what a graphic designer/professional illustrator has to go through on a daily basis, lol.
* Note: Rambling thoughts ahead
It’s kind of a “transitional” book. My first two books were non-mainstream, this one is a mix, and the next two are decidedly mainstream. Maybe I’ll just continue in cycles, ha ha. Or jump ship. I tend to do that when things get uninspiring.
Some people view that as a lack of perseverance. I assure you that it takes a lot of perseverance to know oneself so that you can be true to yourself. I know my limits and my sense of timing doesn’t always “sync in” nicely with other people’s. I could choose to do this now, or 30 years later. I could choose to party/socialize in my free time now, or invest my time in these projects that take up a lot of time / energy / effort / life.
From time to time, I will always weigh materialism against “the simple life.” It’d be really nice to have a good job that pays well, social status, the financial means to be able to own/afford/buy this/that/stuff that you want/need/desire. Yet, in the end, it’s just stuff, isn’t it? I don’t think I would necessarily despise corporate life (which was my belief/sentiment, in my mid-late teens). Work (to me) has to be challenging and inspiring, in some way or other. Something that blends both the creative and analytical faculties. I have a few careers I’ve been considering — I’m just trying to balance it all, and figure out which one is best in the long run. Something that wouldn’t take over my life to the point that I have no time/energy to do any creative writing whatsoever. Something that won’t make me go, “I really shouldn’t have done that,” a few decades down the road. Something where I can make use of my talents and abilities. A job might pay well, but if I don’t feel engaged, somehow, there’s always going to be something lacking.
For some uncanny reason, I’ve noticed that my love and work life tend to coincide (in some ways). I admit that I can be VERY “idealistic” at times — comes with the relatively foolish enthusiasm one could define as “optimism” — till I finally reach a point where I see a thing for what is really is, and not what I think I’d like it to be.
It’s been like this my entire life. This overriding intensity to “self-actualize” (as the term goes in the field of psychology) / achieve one’s full potential.
* Note: Back to ‘Porcelain’
Essentially, Porcelain is an…extremely condensed version, of my thoughts/feelings/experiences throughout my teenage (and young adult) years. It’s the sum of the past ten years of my life (pertaining to universal themes/subjects that everyone can relate to, not just myself). I wonder if I’ll have a Porcelain.02, say, in about 10 year’s time. I think I’d like that.
P.S. Reading The Rainbow, by D. H. Lawrence (hot damn! — leisure reading, not for school). 3 tough exams, then I’m done for this semester.