Meaning of Love, Life



* This post is included in Jess’s writing portfolio, Porcelain.


Pic from Web Design Blog

I’ve never known Love to be a light feeling. Romance can be light-hearted and fun—but if it’s a real love that runs deep (which is what I’m interested in seeking—nothing less), I will endlessly soul-search to gain a better and truer understanding of what it is I really want/need/desire.

Occasionally, this leads to bouts of fixation and obsession where I’ll ponder, and ponder, and ponder, on love, life, sex, self-identity, and relationships. My thoughts tend to influence the characters/stories in my works of fiction.

Side Note: I’m a Venus Scorpio.

Here are some key sections I remember including in my books, with regards to the subject.

* * *

May 5 2006 10.32PM

[music playing: The Bad Touch—Bloodhound Gang]

i am:


love is a red heart
and a warning sign
at the same time

what’s it gonna be
do i let things be

maybe you could be mine
or maybe we’ll be entwined

aimless in this

~ EyeLeash: A Blog Novel (Novan Chang / Chapter 5)

* * *

V-Day…if  you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid.

I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love.

~ EyeLeash: A Blog Novel (Jade Ashton / Chapter 2)

* * *

I was flipping channels, watching this cheerleading program on MTV. They took a field hockey girl and “transformed” her into a cheerleader by the end of the show.

I was just wondering: what if she liked field hockey better?

~ EyeLeash: A Blog Novel (Jade Ashton / Chapter 8)

* * *

Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don’t think so though I’m not sure if I’d like to be and argh I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their genitals.

~ Adriana’s journal snippet / Story #4 in 4:Play / Tongue-Tied

* * *

“I suppose it’s not a social norm, and not a manly thing to do — to feel, discuss feelings. So that’s what I’m giving the finger to. Social norms and stuff…what good are social norms, really? I think all they do is project a limited and harmful image of people. It thus impedes a broader social acceptance of what someone, or a group of people, might actually be like.”

~ Yin / Story #10 in 4:Play

* * *

“Being healthy is not defined by the number of hours you workout or the amount of calories you eat. Eat in moderation and remember to move everyday. A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement.”

– Jo.Zee, 21, dance instructor.

~ 1: The Intern / Chapter 6

* * *

I. Melt.

I’m honestly seeing fireworks.

I open my eyes. Feel the air in my lungs.

“Have a good night.” And Jo.Zee rides off into the night.

Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.

Good things come to those who wait.

~ 1: The Intern / Chapter 9

* * *

Nin knew how much humans loved money, riches, and material things—though he never really could understand why. The more technologically advanced the human species got, the more isolated they seemed to become, at the same time. It was alarming, how humans could spend entire lifetimes engaged in all kinds of activities, without getting any closer to knowing who they really were, inside.

~ The Other Side of Life (Cyberpunk Elven Trilogy, Book #1)

* * *

Kate looked upon Nin admirably. Having him as a partner-in-crime—if only on this one occasion, which she hoped would only be the start of something more—was more revitalizing than the cheap thrills of a cookie-cutter shallow, superficial romance, where the top priority was how beautiful a person was on the outside.

~ The Other Side of Life / Chapter 10

* * *

More to come, in time.

P.S. In EyeLeash, the characters do not drop “f-bombs” all over the place. Just at (9) opportune moments (cut down from 45—excerpt here contains 0). 9 / 45 = 80% reduction. 9 out of 65,000 words = 0.000138%. Much less than any high school setting IRL (in real life).

P.P.S. 1: The Intern and TOSoL are my first “mainstream” attempts. They were a bit strange/interesting for me to write, because I’m used to playing around and experimenting with words and different writing styles [though I try not to go overboard—the reader’s experience takes precedence over my satisfactions from wordplay].

As of May 2010, 1: The Intern is almost ready to go. I might make some tweaks to TOSoL (just a few more polishes, to “enhance” the setting/certain aspects of certain characters—I feel that it could be a little bit more special, that way—perhaps I’m “under the influence” of Melville’s usage of imagery + literary symbolism)…I’ll try to get TOSoL done by the end of 2010.

P.P.P.S. There is enough pain, misery, and suffering in the world. I create the changes I would like to see, via writing (a blend of fact + fiction).

P.P.P.P.S. I realize that each of my books falls into a different genre. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. To borrow a quote from a reader’s email to me: “‘organized clutter’ is my middle name.”


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