“I Hate Commercialism”

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yaoi

Cover image by nezumichuu.

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I’ll be happy if I can finish the next four BDSM-themed short stories over the next two months. Kinda slow, I know, but I’ve tried “rushing things” in the past, and it usually requires even more time in the end (to fix what was too hastily done).

Last night, I was half-dreaming half-thinking about the things happening in Rockstar, and it’s probably going to be really implicit/subtle for something that’s BDSM-themed. Then again, I personally get bored with porn after a few rounds of viewing/experiencing basically the same things (whether it’s in visual or textual format), so I hope I’ll be able to make the most of this new slant/direction I’m taking (“contemporary fiction with elements of erotic love”).

The subject of “art versus commerce” used to really irk me in the past (when I was…15-21, maybe). It took me a while to figure out what I really wanted to do (as a writer).

Thoughtful writing contains some level of artistic integrity. Publishing, however, is the business side of things. And it can be very difficult to hit a nice happy balance between art/the imagination, and business/reality.

In the past, there have been times where I’ve wished to be able to do commercial genre fiction, to tap into the cultural zeitgeist of the time (such as the teenage paranormal romance scene/Twilight franchise)…but I have to do what I have to do. I cannot be something that I’m not.

There are people who are able to tap into the commercial market, and go for the money — good for them :). If that’s the aim, then that’s the aim, and one would actually be unwise to factor in “artistic integrity [and ‘all that (complicated, unnecessary) jazz’].”

As for myself, I personally have never been able to focus solely on financial success. Even if nobody else cares, I care about how I make my money/live my life, and the passion and purpose behind what drives me to succeed [a lot can be explained via astrology, and my MBTI type (INFJ)].

And if I did drop my vision and go for the money (via cashing in on a current trend/fad/whatever), I might not receive messages like the following:

“Based on the three books I’ve read, I can say that you’re a brilliant writer. They are not shallow reads. Your books do not only entertain but they also make you reflect on what is really important in one’s life.”
e-mail from a reader, 2011 (The Philippines)

I’m working very hard to hit my “third basic financial goal (with regards to writing/publishing)” by September 2011 (by my 25th b’day). I’ll continue to have more financial targets in future (Phase II scheduled for 2012).

As long as I live within my own means: I’ll be all right.

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* Here’s an excerpt from Rockstar, from which the title of this blog post is derived from ;). The excerpt is also posted on Rockstar @ jessINK.

SUMMARY: Hideki brings on the knife and bondage play to help Daniel come face-to-face with his dEniAl.

GENRE: Contemporary Fiction / Erotic Love / Yaoi

EXCERPT #2 (E-mail from Hideki to Daniel):

From: Hideki Noda <hideki-san@gqmail.com>
To: Daniel A. <daniel.a@gqmail.com>
Date: Tue, Mar 14, 2006 at 8:38 PM
Subject: Re: i hate commercialism

Hey Daniel,

Thanks for your kind comments and words of sanity. I mean I guess I just don’t know why I can’t be like everybody else, you know, and I mean everyone in all types of creative industries (music, writing, design, fashion, etc).

Gone are the days where people could actually tell good shit from bad shit — no wait, I’m not too sure, maybe people could never really tell the difference. As in, there’ll only be a small number of really thoughtful and discerning people who want something more in life, apart from something ‘pop’ and ‘fluff’ and mindlessly entertaining.

Do you know why there are so many obese people in the world right now (apart from the prevalence of fast food?) — one need only look at the ancient scriptures of India, such as the following:

An Ayurvedic text comments: “Boredom, mindless entertainment, continuous eating, and oversleeping: these will fatten you up just like a hog.”

I hate commercialism. It makes me very tired. I think I’m only going to be buying CDs of dead rockstars from now. A few notable exceptions regarding still-living artistes, which I will check out *when I happen to do so*.

I guess I should’ve known. I know I should not begrudge other people’s success. I know that there’s a market for everything. It’s more an overall feeling of genuine disgust and frustration.

I guess the question is: why bother to work hard? Why bother to hone your talents? Why bother to be anything, if you can make millions from unoriginal work that’s easily digestible, and just as easily disposable (but who care$, coz you already made the million$!!!)?

BUT I guess if I can slowly work on it…have a day job to survive, while I continue to explore the art/music in a way that I want…I won’t complain, coz it’s just two different camps. The commercial side can roll around and continue to pander crap to the lowest common denominator as they rush to meet their bottom line/net profits……….people like me can choose to sit it out, and not play the game at all.

You don’t have to buy into it, if you don’t want to. At the end of the day, I still want to be able to have my own life.

I’m not blessed enough to be illiterate/ignorant. I’m not blessed enough to be able to sell my soul and/or artistic integrity, for hordes of quick cash. I’m not blessed enough to ride on the commercial success of a trend or fad that’s hot for that day, or week, or year, or whatever.

But I’m blessed enough to have people like you as friends.

Ok thanks for listening to all my nonsensical garbage again…

~ Hideki.

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