I recently closed the comments section on previous blog posts (WAY too much spam comments coming in).
I guess I’ve always liked to “cut out all the noise” ;) I haven’t been super productive in the past two weeks, because I decided to take a step back for a little bit, just to get a better perspective on some things that are important to me (such as financial security, my artistic vision, romantic/sexual stuff, etc etc).
I’ve always worked very hard — but it was reaching a point where I was beginning to seriously stress myself out (to the point where that was the focus, more so than the actual projects to work on). From now on, I think I’ll just aim to focus on and compete with myself (astrologically speaking, this solitude is likely to have something to do with Jupiter in the 12th House).
I think what’s important to me is being able to make a living doing something I really enjoy. The public recognition, the million dollar deals, the movie options/deals…these are great achievements, which I really desired at one point. Right now, I’m not too sure anymore. I mean if it happens some day, that’s alright, and if it doesn’t, maybe I’ll be fine with that too.
Option #1: Owning/having less things, but being truly happy with oneself and appreciating what one does have (not what one doesn’t have)
Option #2: Having more stuff, but being more discontent and dissatisfied (the car/house is not enough; competitors A + B + C are doing better; etc etc)
I think I’ll go with Option #1.
I’ve always had “issues” with materialism, to some extent [astrologically speaking, this probably has something to do with my Aries Rising + Mars Cap in 10th House (+ Virgo Sun in 6th House, maybe)]. And I’ve also been very obsessed with both financial security, as well as freedom of expression (I need a career that’s more like a vocation / I wouldn’t be able to “just turn up at work for the money”)…these things have been dogging me since almost a decade ago.
Pride and humility, art and commerce, intellect and emotion — my life has always had this theme of a “balance between extremities” [astrologically speaking, this probably has something to do with my Virgo Sun / Pisces Moon combination (opposite signs)].
I’ll be turning 25 in September. Assuming I’ve gotten my priorities a little more straightened out (for my own self), I am reasonably confident I’ll be able to continue quietly (and busily) working towards whatever targets I set during my later twenties. So far I’ve hit almost all of the targets I’ve ever set [usually JUST by the deadline — have one more for 2011 (before I turn 25) — might just miss it, lol…but I’ll keep going anyway].
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I completed Rockstar (BDSM story.03) not too long ago. I’m looking forward to finishing the remaining 3 BDSM-themed stories (which I’m “taking my time” to complete — latest by July!)…they’re realistic and complex…so I think I’d rather present something “nice” and complete the collection by July, rather than rush through the remaining ones and complete the (shoddier, in comparison) collection by this month.
Currently working on Teacher’s Pet (BDSM story.04). This one draws from various “real life accounts” too (most of my writing does, lol)…but usually I’m the only one that knows exactly what is real and who exactly were the ones involved in said “real life accounts” ;). I fixed/cleaned up the opening 3 pages yesterday…might try 2 more pages today. Cleaned up a bunch of notes, but no actual writing done today yet.
–> Screenshot of notes in Teacher’s Pet (BDSM story.04). I think I’ll categorize this one as “contemporary fiction with BDSM elements.”
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I posted one yoga photo last year (28 July 2010). Exercise has always been a part of my life. However, I really wish I had done more stretching throughout my teenage years (could do splits up to age 7 or so). I didn’t even realize how stiff my shoulders and calf muscles were until I could (quite recently) finally keep my heel down during the calf stretch + stretch ALL the way up with the shoulders.
1. I was stuck at 90 degrees for quite a number of years. I will continue to do straddle splits (standing + sitting down) — I usually do them while watching TV…
2. “Jillian Michaels” (HAHAHA!)
3. I’ve always liked this stretch (clears the mind). The palms are supposed to meet at the back, but I can’t do that right now (not in this pose), so I’m catching the elbows first.
* P.P.S. “Zen is rooted in action, not words.” — Yoga Zen, NZ